i'm reading andrew mcmahon's blog posts and it makes me feel a little calmer
like hey, it ain't so bad, just think about these words and remember this but
it has become one of those night where i can't sleep
my mind is fluttering with all sorts of things
like
hey, what's my excuse for quitting my job, what's a better excuse
hey, how am i going to go to paris without money, how am i getting that apartment without money, maybe i should just do it for a while longer
hey, why do you take so long to reply
hey, i can't stand you right now
hey, i should get you those books for christmas
tonight it feels like it is bad
tonight it feels like cold lonely tiring regret ache
tonight it feels like truth sentiment nostalgia
this is where i remind myself why i should follow through
this is where i remind myself the reason in the first place
this is where i remind myself to put myself first
this is where i remind myself
what i am going to do
and where i am going to go
and what i am going to be
and how
here to there.
how.
will.
